Hold Me Until Forever Page 3

  Why else do you think he turned up this morning?

  Yeah. Obviously the heat she remembered from last night had more to do with all the cocktails and champagne she’d downed than cold, hard reality.

  “I’ve already accepted the other position, Alex.” Don’t even think about sex positions. For God’s sake, what’s wrong with me?

  “Tell me the benefits they’re offering, and I’ll match them.”

  She sighed. “They have lions and tigers.”

  The silence screamed in her ears. Treacle jumped up onto the kitchen counter and sauntered along its length, his tail in the air as though he was personally flipping Alex off.

  “Lions and tigers. You’re talking about Gaia, aren’t you?”

  “They asked me if I’d be interested in the job when Yvette handed in her notice.” Actually Yvette had talked to her about it before she’d handed in her notice, but there was no need to go into all the details. Alex was looking pissed enough as it was.

  “Guess I can’t compete with the big cats.” He gave the coffee machine a brooding look. “Won’t be the same there without you.”

  Guilt twisted through her again. Before he’d taken her into Grayson’s she’d been floundering, her self-confidence still in bad shape after her mom’s asshole boyfriend had cornered her when she’d been fourteen. Her succession of part-time and casual jobs was nothing to brag about, and the only constant in her life had been her volunteer work at the Wildlife Retreat.

  “I’m not leaving you in the shit. There’s plenty of time to find a replacement for me.”

  He gave her a smoldering look. Oh, for fuck’s sake… “No one could take your place.”

  If only he were talking about her as a woman and not his indispensable work colleague.

  “Hate to say it, but you’ll probably be surprised.”

  He didn’t immediately deny it, which stung more than it should.

  “You plan on staying in touch?”

  She couldn’t tell by his tone of voice whether he gave a damn one way or the other. So much for no one being able to take her place. Looked like he was already over it.

  Don’t you dare say it. Heat flooded through her, but the words spilled out anyhow. “I might come visit you in your club one night.”

  At least it wiped that infuriating, unreadable expression from his face. He stared at her as though she’d just grown a pair of horns.

  “I don’t think so.”

  It was the note of finality in his voice that really pissed her off—as if he thought she was joking and he didn’t find it funny.

  “Why not? I think I’d really get off on a night at your club.” Take that. If only she didn’t look so rough. It was hard trying to act like a sophisticated woman of the world when she was barefoot and Alex could’ve stepped off the cover of GQ.

  “Didn’t know you were into that scene.”

  “There’s a lot you don’t know about me.” Including the fact I sleep in one of your old shirts. At least he hadn’t recognized it. Then again, it was about three years old. He’d left it here when the brothers had helped her move in, and somehow she kept forgetting to give it back to him.

  Accidentally on purpose.

  “I would’ve known about this.”

  Was he laughing at her? He didn’t look as if he was, but it was hard to tell what he was thinking.

  Whatever. She wasn’t backing down.

  “I might not be hardcore, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to experiment now and then.”

  “Define what you mean by ‘experimenting.’”

  He damn well was laughing at her. What’s the kinkiest thing I’ve read lately? “Ménages.” That’d shut him up. Or turn him on.

  “You enjoy having sex with two men at the same time?”

  She glared at him. “You find it so hard to believe that two men would want me?”

  “That’s not what I find hard to believe.”

  His quick-fire response took her breath away. Trust Alex to compliment and insult her in one easy comment.

  She cleared her throat, which kind of ruined the worldly aura she was going for, but it was better than choking on her own words. “So, does your club cater for that kind of thing?”

  What was she saying? She’d die if he called her bluff.

  He didn’t answer right away. His eyes were all dark and smoky and it was suddenly hard to breathe properly. He seemed to be considering her question, which sent prickles of alarmed excitement over her bare skin.

  “Excalibur caters for almost anything,” he said.

  Chapter Three

  Alex poured the coffee into their mugs. Ella was winding him up. Had to be. No way had she ever fucked two men at once.

  Just because I don’t like it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

  He placed her mug on the counter between them and held his own in a death grip, while one of her ginger cats prowled along the countertop as if it owned it.

  “Sounds like Excalibur’s my kind of club,” she said.

  Was she serious? She might’ve starred in some of his hottest fantasies, but he never imagined she might be interested in anything but straight vanilla.

  Not that they ever discussed their sex lives. He didn’t want to know what she got up to with other men. And he knew damn well what she thought of him.

  A total man whore.

  Yeah, and she thought J and Coop were too, until a few months ago.

  “You ever been to a club like Excalibur before?” He couldn’t figure out whether he wanted her to say yes or no.

  “That’d be telling.” She gave him a mocking smile that hit him right in the gut. “It’s not just threesomes I’m into.”

  He nearly dropped his damn mug. What the hell else was she into? And why hadn’t he known? Then again, he hadn’t even known she kept a million cats in her apartment.

  “You kept that quiet.” It was a good thing the counter was between them. He was having serious trouble controlling his damn cock. He’d gotten used to facing the fact that she was forbidden. But if she was into scenes…

  Shut the fuck up. Wasn’t going to happen.

  “You never asked before.” Her voice was airy, as though they were talking about work, not her sex life.

  Christ. He put the mug down before he crushed it. It doesn’t make any difference. She was still forbidden. “Never got the impression you wanted me to.”

  “Oh well.” She shrugged like it didn’t matter one way or the other. “Never a good idea to mix work and sex, is it?”

  They wouldn’t be working together for much longer…

  “You hook up for scenes?” Stop right there. He couldn’t.

  “Well, sure.” She picked up the cat from the countertop and it wrapped itself around her neck, hiding half her face from him. “That’s what I do.”

  It didn’t matter what she was into. It made no difference.

  Yes, it does.

  “And you didn’t tell me because we work together.” Asking for trouble…

  She buried her face in her cat’s fur. “Something like that.” Her voice was muffled.

  I can’t do this.

  Yes, he could. She’d all but asked him. She wasn’t looking for anything serious. Not with him. She just wanted good times.

  He could do that. She’d get her kicks, and he’d get something he’d craved for eight long years.

  Ella in his arms. Every which way he wanted. But most of all she’d be safe from the destructive force that lived inside him. Because the sex would be confined to Excalibur, where there were rules and regulations, and it wouldn’t be personal.

  Not the way it’d be personal if he took her here, in her apartment, the way he goddamn wanted to.

  Don’t do it. This was Ella. She deserved so much more than him. But he couldn’t help himself.

  “You want to come to Excalibur with me?”

  Ella pulled on the cute violet ankle boots she’d bought a couple of months ago and stared at her reflecti
on in the full-length mirror. Was she really going through with this tonight?

  When Alex had called her on the whole ménage thing, her mouth just hadn’t shut up. Even when she’d hidden behind Treacle, the shit kept on coming. At least he hadn’t laughed at her.

  She let out a puff of breath. He hadn’t been anywhere near laughing. He’d looked damn predatory and so freaking hot her knees had gone weak.

  So what the hell am I going to do when we get to the club? She’d done a bit of online research after he’d left. Sure, she knew the basics and the hype and had read a few BDSM romances. But that wasn’t real life, was it?

  Her stomach churned. She hadn’t been able to eat a thing all day, and it wasn’t all due to the shitty hangover. For the last two hours she’d gone through everything in her closet. Did she want a take-me-now-godamnit or a hands-off-buddy ice-queen vibe?

  No contest. He’d kept his hands off her for long enough.

  She tugged at her violet corset so it displayed more of her cleavage. Not that she had a lot to show but whatever. It had cost a fortune when she’d bought it at the same time as her boots, and it certainly made her small boobs look impressive.

  The black mini skirt with zippered sides and the sheer black stockings made her legs look a lot longer than they really were. If only she’d had time to re-dye her hair. Shocking violet with silver sparkles, to match the corset, would’ve really made a statement.

  Suppose I got the wrong end of the stick? What if he was only taking her to Excalibur tonight to show her around? Or—even worse—so she could hook up with some strange guy?

  No way. He’d been totally fascinated by the idea she did more than the missionary position. He definitely wants to have sex with me. All she had to do was play it cool and pretend she’d done it all before.

  Condoms. She tripped over a pair of black stilettos she’d slung on the floor earlier as she made her way to her bedside chest of drawers. She rummaged through her underwear. Where the hell were they?

  She plopped down on the edge of her bed and stared in disbelief at the empty pack in her hand. Sure, it had been ages since she’d gotten laid. But was that any excuse to be unprepared?

  “Shit.” She tossed the offending pack into her bin. It was too late to go buy some more. In any case, they were going to a sex club. They probably gave out condoms like candy. She stifled a giggle. Good thing Alex couldn’t see the state she was in. He’d change his mind for sure.

  The front door buzzed. Her stomach gave another nervous pitch. Don’t fuck this up. Tonight might be the only chance she had with him. Play this right and he might never want to let me go. Nice dream. She took a deep breath and stood.

  She unlocked the downstairs front door and waited for him to reach her floor. The last time she’d been this hyped was when she’d gate crashed that party when she’d been sixteen.

  He rapped on her door. Even though she was standing right by it, she waited a few seconds before opening it.

  One hand leaning against the doorframe, he smiled down at her. He was so hot she could hardly breathe. It wasn’t just the way his black shirt was undone so she caught a glimpse of his bronze chest, or the way his designer pants made him look like a million-dollar model.

  She’d seen him in torn jeans and ratty T-shirt, and he was still insanely irresistible.

  He’s Alex and that’s why.

  Maybe after tonight he’d feel the same way about her.

  “Ready?” His warm glaze slid over her. He appeared quite taken with the corset.

  “Sure.” She wriggled into her tight black faux leather jacket. Breathe. She’d waited years for this. She refused to pass out before they’d even left the building.

  “You look gorgeous.” Alex pulled her door shut and his hand brushed across her shoulders. She tried not to shiver, and not just because of his touch.

  “Thanks.” He’d never told her she looked gorgeous before. She hooked her thumbs into her jacket pockets before she did anything stupid, like wrap her arms around his neck.

  “I’m not letting you out of my sight tonight, you know that.” It wasn’t a question.

  You bet your sexy ass you’re not. Best not to say that out loud. And then her tongue took over her brain again. “Into voyeurism, are you?” Ugh. She didn’t want to give him ideas. On the other hand did she really want him to think she was a sure thing?

  That would be a yes…

  “Watching isn’t my kink.” His beautiful mouth twitched as though he was trying not to laugh. Heat spread low between her thighs, and she gripped the stair rail before she fell headfirst at his feet.

  “How about threesomes?” Gag me.

  “Once or twice.”

  Holy hell. She didn’t know if that intrigued or appalled her. Having two men at once might be a nice fantasy to get her off in the middle of the night, but that’s as far as she ever wanted it to go.

  Suppose Alex wants to do that with me tonight?

  She damn near twisted her ankle. Again.

  “Careful.” He slid his arm around her waist and tugged her close. “I don’t want you ending up on your knees.”

  Yet. The unspoken word thudded between them.

  Don’t think about it. What had they just been talking about? “Huh. Never thought about you getting naked with another man.”

  Did I say that out loud?

  He laughed and his arm tightened around her as they left the building. “There wasn’t another man involved. That’s not my thing either.”

  Wait. What? Not sure I like that image. “Just so you know, I won’t be getting naked with any other woman.”

  They’d reached his convertible. He looked down at her. His smile had vanished. “I wouldn’t want you to.”

  He opened the car door for her. She kept her knees together as she slid inside. His car smelled of leather and wax and even though she’d sat in it a hundred times before, tonight felt like the very first time.

  God, she was horny. She pressed her thighs together but it didn’t help. Her thong was damp. She wanted to crawl onto his lap and have him right here.

  It didn’t take long to reach Excalibur. While she knew where it was and had been on their website a few times, she’d never actually checked it out herself. It was kind of surprising that from the outside it looked just like any regular kind of classy club.

  Though what had she expected? A couple of naked guys flanking the doors with a big, flashing sex sign or something?

  There was just an understated sign with its name, Excalibur, above the impressive double doors, and one bouncer, who made Brock Wilkins look like a stick insect.

  Alex parked in a reserved spot in the lot behind the building, and they made their way to the entrance. Then he stopped and frowned at her. “You sure about this?”

  She snatched her thumb from her mouth. Biting her nails was a horrible habit she’d kicked years ago, but sometimes—such as now, of all times—stress made her forget what she was doing.

  Alex couldn’t change his mind now. And he would if he guessed this was her first time doing the kind of things that got him off. “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  He gave a faint smile but didn’t answer. The bouncer jerked his chin in greeting. “Evening, Mr. Grayson.” He opened the door like they were royalty.

  She held her breath and stepped inside. It looked…completely normal, like any number of clubs she’d been to over the years. Where’s the wild orgies? Not that she wanted to either join in or watch naked strangers having sex, but wasn’t that what this was all about?

  He signed her in as a guest before his hand slid to the small of her back and lingered there. “The bar and buffet are through here.” They made their way across the dance floor. Music vibrated the floors and lasers flashed from the ceiling. She tried not to stare at the revealing outfits some of the women were wearing. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t exactly like the clubs she’d been to before, if you went by the dress code.

  “The food looks good.”
Where were all the whips and chains that she’d been imagining hanging off the walls?

  “Yep.” He sounded on the verge of laughing. “No alcohol though. Need to bring your own. Although I might have some in the office.”

  “One of the perks of being an owner, huh?” There was a pole on the bar counter that went up to the mirrored ceiling. A gorgeous blonde with huge boobs, wearing a short dress that looked like it was made out of crimson string, batted her lashes at Alex before swinging herself up onto the counter and wrapping her endless legs around the pole.

  O-kay then. The blonde bent over backward so her hair brushed the counter and pouted her lips seductively. Ella gave Alex a sideways glance. He appeared unmoved by the other woman’s attempt to grab his attention.

  “Do you want something to eat?” he asked, totally focused on her. Did he even know the blonde was practically turning herself inside out for his benefit? “Or do you want the grand tour?”

  I’m getting a grand tour of this woman’s nipples. She cleared her throat and hoped she wasn’t going to start giggling like an idiot. If he thought she was out of her depth, he’d take her straight back home without so much as a quick spank.

  Was he into spanking? She had no idea. She’d never done anything like that, but she’d often imagined him doing it to her.

  Don’t say that out loud.

  “The grand tour sounds good.”

  His hand was warm and firm against her lower back as he led her deeper into the club. The passageway walls were exposed brickwork, with blue strip lighting giving a strange, otherworldly illumination. They passed a tastefully decorated lounge where a few couples were eating and drinking at the table. No one seemed riveted on the couple who were hard at it on a black leather sofa. She blinked and didn’t know whether to keep staring or look the other way.

  Alex’s hand slid down and cradled her butt. Heat pooled between her thighs. It was far too hot with her jacket on.

  “Do you want to stay here a while?” His smoky whisper brushed her ear and his hard body was far more of a turn-on than the activities happening in the lounge. She swallowed and tore her fascinated gaze from the oblivious couple.

  “No.” Her voice was husky. “I want the whole tour.”