Catalyst Page 2

  She wrapped her legs around his hips as he thrust into her, the friction of flesh against flesh driving every sane thought from her head. Her fingers clawed through his hair, gripping his head, and his hot breath was an erratic caress against her flushed cheek.

  Tension spiked, unbearable, unforgettable. Never ending. Dimensions splintered and the stars fell as her body and mind melded with Tom, and she convulsed with rapturous abandon around him.

  “Aria.” He ground out her name, and it was dark and sexy, spiraling through her electrified senses, as he came as though the worlds were ending.

  Their thoughts swirled, wordless, love filled. Sated. Drifting slowly from the heavens and back to reality.

  She clutched him tight, not willing to let him go and shatter this moment. Her heart slowed and breathing calmed, but still she clung onto this elusive illusion of eternity.

  The end would come soon enough.

  Finally, he stirred and tenderly brushed her hair back from her cheek. “Are you okay?”

  She’d never been able to conceal her true feelings from him. No matter how hard she tried.

  “Yes.” Her voice cracked on the word. How could she tell him it was over? Blindly, she reached for her top and pulled it on without looking at him. “Tom, we need to talk.”

  He traced his finger along the length of her arm, and she shivered but didn’t pull away. After tonight, she would never feel his touch again.

  “What about?”

  She could hear his smile in his voice, even though she wasn’t looking at him. Briefly, she screwed her eyes shut, before she turned to him.

  He was on his back, his head cushioned on his forearm as he grinned up at her. She drew in a deep breath.

  It was time.

  She tried to remember all the reasons why she had to say goodbye. The half-formed speeches that had tormented her mind for weeks. But the words fled when Tom was by her side. In the end, it didn’t matter what she said. The result was the same.

  Her whole chest ached, but she forced out the words, each one a bloodied chunk of her heart. “I can’t keep meeting you like this. It’s not real.”

  He sat up, his smile gone. Wariness cloaked him like a cloud. “It’s real to me.”

  She wanted to fling her arms around him. Tell him this was real to her, too. Except that was the problem. The reason why one of them had to walk away.

  “I want you to meet my family. I want to meet yours, and not to just see them through your eyes when we’re telepathically linked. I don’t want to wake up one day and be the crazy old woman who lives alone with her invisible lover.”

  Pain flashed across his face. “I don’t want that for you, either. Or for me. But it’s not going to happen. We’ll find a way, somehow. Like we found a way to be together outside of the dreamworld.”

  Her smile was sad. As children, they had only ever connected in dreams. And then, as young teens, they’d discovered they could communicate by meditating on the astral planes, a spiritual realm that lay beyond both of their own dimensions.

  A few years ago, their link had strengthened to such a degree that they could talk to each other whenever they wanted to. When she was telepathically linked to Tom, it was just like speaking to anyone in her own world.

  They didn’t know why their link had developed. For years they’d lived with the hope it was a natural progression and that one day the barriers that separated them would finally crumble.

  But it seemed the last obstacle preventing them from being together was impenetrable.

  “We have to move on,” she whispered. “I can’t live this half-life anymore. Sometimes I feel as though I’m losing my mind.”

  “I’d never let that happen.” There was a fierce note in his voice as he took her hand.

  It would be so easy to agree. Gently, she loosened her fingers from his and stood.

  “Goodbye, Tom.”

  He leaped to his feet but didn’t try and grab her hand again. “No, Aria. Don’t go.”

  “I have to.” Tears clogged her throat, but she wouldn’t cry. Not yet.

  “Have you met someone else?” Agony threaded through each word, and for a fleeting second, she almost said yes. Would it make this easier?

  But she’d never lie to him. She fought the overwhelming urge to take his hand and never let him go.

  “There’s only ever been you.” And she had the bone-deep conviction there never would be anyone else, no matter how hard she tried to delude herself otherwise.

  But she couldn’t let him know that. He’d never fall in love again if he knew that truth.

  “I love you, Aria.”

  The sun sank beyond the horizon, and shadows lengthened across the land. A chill wind whipped through the grass and the branches of the trees creaked, like aged limbs stretching after a lifetime of slumber.

  The dreamworld that had sustained her for so long was disintegrating, but Tom stood there, tall and proud and strong, as everything around him was sucked into a bottomless vortex.

  Her soul wept for all she was going to lose. Even though her head knew she should say nothing more, she couldn’t leave him without letting him know how much he meant to her, and she poured her heart into her final message.

  Mind to mind.

  I’ll love you until the end of time.

  Chapter 3

  Zad

  The Archangel Zadkiel stood in the garden of Tom’s cottage as sunrise splashed the sky a blaze of oranges and red. A dozen times during the last four years he had teleported to Tom’s side, each time expecting some catastrophe had befallen the human. And each time he’d interrupted Tom talking to Aria.

  Damn. He needed to get a life.

  He helped in the aftermath of disasters. He didn’t prevent them. But here he was again. Checking up on a mortal. All because Tom’s humanitarian nature, when they’d first met in South Asia, reminded him of someone he’d once considered his family, so long ago.

  It was time to leave. And not just because it was morning. He needed to leave Tom to get on with his life. No way did he want to watch the mortal he considered a friend grow old and die, the way so many he’d grown close to had in the distant past.

  Not going there.

  The ancient memories shimmered in the shadowy corners of his mind, an ever-present reminder of the vast chasm that existed between mortals and archangels. A warning that while humans existed for a blink in the churning streams of time, he was the one who’d be left behind to endure.

  The loss of ages shivered through his soul, threatening to drag him into its seductive embrace. But he’d escaped that despair once. He wasn’t going back. Forcibly, he thrust the haunting echoes of another time back into the abyss as he turned and went into the cottage. Tom was sprawled on a broken sofa, but his body was tense, and a frown slashed his forehead.

  “No, Aria,” he muttered. “Don’t go.”

  Against his inclination to offer comfort, Zad backed up. He should go right now. A bad dream wasn’t reason enough for him to stay. But instead, he remained rooted to the spot.

  It was none of his concern if Tom had a nightmare about his girlfriend. It didn’t mean anything. So why the fuck was he still standing here?

  Decision made. He swung about and strode to the door.

  I’ll love you until the end of time.

  Zad froze as prickles raced over his skin. The feminine voice had spoken directly inside his mind. A telepathic message, but it wasn’t meant for him. Slowly he turned and stared at Tom.

  True telepath humans were rare. Tom wasn’t one of them.

  Aria was. Yet even a telepath from any of the more advanced species in the universe was unable to initiate contact with an archangel without an invite.

  Except she wasn’t speaking to him. And he sure as hell hadn’t probed Tom’s mind and eavesdropped on their conversation.

  Silence hung heavy in the cottage now, but the understated power of her brief connection echoed through him.

  Maybe she was
descended from an ancestor not indigenous to Earth. He trawled through his memories, retrieving and discarding the many telepathic races he’d encountered in the universe. None of them matched the genetic biomarkers he’d detected in Aria.

  Unease snaked through the core of his being.

  Who is she?

  And where the hell was she from?

  Chapter 4

  Tom

  The dreamworld dissolved and Tom slammed back into reality. Panting, he stared at the ceiling as his heart slowed its frantic thudding. Dust motes danced in the early morning sunlight, banishing night shadows, but an encroaching darkness clutched his heart.

  Aria had ended everything between them.

  He pushed himself up and sat on the edge of the sofa, cradling his aching head. It didn’t matter that what she’d said was true. She’d given up hope, when hope was all they had that one day they could find a way to be together. For real.

  Forever.

  “Fuck.” He raked his hands through his hair, frustration burning through his heart. He wasn’t ready to give up on her. He’d never be damn well ready to give up on her.

  And she knew it.

  That was why she had said goodbye.

  He stood and stumbled into the kitchen. A cardboard box filled with broken crockery blocked his progress and he gave it a vicious kick, but the sound of clunking china brought no satisfaction.

  “Bad night?” Zad said as he strolled through the back door.

  “Fucking great.” He turned on the tap at the sink and stuck his head under the water. Not that he was hungover, but let Zad think whatever the hell he wanted.

  “Trouble with Aria?”

  There was no way Zad knew he’d spent the night with Aria, but for once self-preservation took a hike. What did it matter, anyway? “You could say that. We broke up.”

  Zad didn’t respond, and as the silence lengthened, Tom finally pulled his head from the sink and glared at him. Not that he wanted to talk about it, but he’d expected the other guy to say something.

  “Why?” Zad asked at last.

  The million-dollar question, with a thousand different answers, and he couldn’t share any of them.

  But in the end, there was only one reason why they could never be together.

  “We’re incompatible.” Bitterness dripped from the words, but he wasn’t angry at Aria. Not really.

  It was the uncaring hand of Fate, that had somehow bound them together, only to rip them apart.

  “Incompatible,” Zad repeated, as though he was savoring each syllable. “Interesting word choice.”

  Sometimes, Zad said the weirdest shit.

  “Whatever.” Tom filled the kettle. He needed caffeine.

  “Incompatible in what way?”

  For fuck’s sake. He wished he hadn’t said anything, now.

  “It doesn’t matter. Do you want coffee?”

  Zad folded his arms and gazed into space, a brooding expression on his face. Tom often caught him doing that, as though sometimes the other guy saw far more than he let on.

  An eerie shiver crawled along the back of his neck. Did Zad know who Aria really was?

  Yeah, right. Get a fucking grip. What was he thinking?

  The only one who knew the truth about Aria was him, and that’s the way it would always be. He found a couple of mugs and spooned coffee into them, then glowered at the kettle, which was taking forever to boil.

  “Family opposition?”

  “What?” Tom swung round. Zad was still by the door, but his gaze was fixed on him.

  “Is that the reason Aria ended the relationship?”

  “It’s nothing to do with her family.”

  “Terminal illness?”

  Fear stabbed through Tom’s heart. Was it possible that was the reason Aria had said goodbye—because she was dying?

  “No.” His voice was harsh. He would have known. She would have told him.

  Would she, though?

  “Just trying to eliminate possibilities.”

  “Fuck that. She’s fine.” The knowledge that he’d never see her again was bad enough. He couldn’t face the thought that, while he endured the years alone, in her own world, Aria might not even be alive.

  “Tom,” Zad said, and then remained silent. Tom gritted his teeth and refused to glance at the other man. This was another thing Zad did. Say something, and then wait until he had your full attention before continuing.

  The kettle boiled. He poured the water into the mugs. And still Zad didn’t say a word.

  Tom rounded on him. “What?” he growled.

  “Have you ever met Aria?”

  His heart jolted, pain corkscrewing through his chest. For one crazy second he almost spilled his guts before self-preservation flooded his brain. Familiar defenses rose and shutters fell, burying his moment of madness. It was only a variation of a question he’d been asked countless times over the years from his family and friends, who couldn’t understand why they’d never met this mysterious girl. He never lied, but he could never tell the truth, either.

  People would think he’d lost his mind. That Aria existed only inside his head.

  The only shock with Zad’s question was why he’d never asked it before.

  “Define met.” What the fuck? He didn’t want to continue this conversation. What’s wrong with me? When people asked that question, the last thing they expected was a metaphysical discussion on telepathy, dreamworlds, and alternate dimensions.

  “Met as in the physical world?” Zad said, as though that was a completely logical thing to say, and irrational panic thudded through Tom. It was as though Zad knew.

  Except he didn’t. Zad was just being his usual laid-back self. It had nothing to do with him guessing Tom’s secret.

  I’m losing it.

  He ignored the unrelenting clawing that gnawed the edges of his mind. He couldn’t confide in Zad. He could never tell anyone. Instead, he glowered. “What other fucking way is there, Einstein?”

  “Intangible,” Zad said. He didn’t sound as though he was taking the piss. To be fair, Zad never took the piss, but if he was serious, what the hell was he saying?

  Tom took a gulp of his coffee. It tasted disgusting, but he chugged it down regardless. Unfortunately, it didn’t help clear his mind.

  “Tom, I’m trying to help. I don’t think you and Aria are meant to be apart.”

  Who are you? The question spiked through his head, sharp and bright like a diamond sword, and a shudder racked his body. He was so fucked up he saw hidden meanings in every word the other guy uttered. All Zad was trying to do was help. It wasn’t his fault there was nothing to be done.

  He had to get back on track and stop reacting to every comment Zad made as though there were hidden meanings. The only secrets in this conversation were the ones locked tight inside his head.

  “Preaching to the choir,” he growled as he tipped the rest of his drink into the sink. And then he couldn’t help himself. “If you have any great ideas on how I can win her back, let me know.”

  Except not even the most fantastic suggestion would help. Because sending gifts, rescuing kittens, or serenading Aria on his knees under a full moon couldn’t work, since they lived in different dimensions.

  He couldn’t even contact her anymore. When she’d said her last goodbye, she’d slammed the door on their link, and the empty gulf left behind was like acid leaking through his soul.

  “Where does she live?”

  She lives right here, in this village. Sometimes, they would be standing in the very same place, at the same time. It was those moments he believed he could feel her physical presence, but even though she felt it too, they both knew it was a delusion.

  She was there. But she wasn’t here.

  They’d been deluding themselves for years.

  “She lives in a different world.” He wasn’t sure why he even said it. Anger? Despair? Frustration? Didn’t matter. Zad wouldn’t guess the truth.

  Zad didn’t mis
s a beat. “Literally?”

  More than Zad would ever know. “Yeah.”

  “Fascinating.” Zad stared at him, a shrewd gleam in his eyes. “Why didn’t I see this before?”

  This conversation was killing him. “I was joking,” he said between gritted teeth. Even if, in reality, he’d come closer to speaking the truth about Aria than he ever had before. “Aria isn’t an alien, Zad.”

  She just lived in a parallel universe.

  “There’s nothing wrong with being an alien. It’s all a matter of perspective.” Zad picked up his mug and contemplated the contents before replacing it on the draining board. “Some of my best friends are aliens.”

  “You’re not helping.” Tom swung about and stamped out of the kitchen. He needed space, but Zad didn’t get the message and followed him into the living room.

  “My point is, you can tell me anything. Trust me, there’s nothing you can say that I won’t believe.”

  Tom gave a bitter laugh. Zad really was asking for it.

  “You might regret you said that.” Wait, there was no way he was going to tell Zad the truth. Not if he wanted to keep the other man’s friendship, and he did. Why, then, was the need to confide so compelling?

  “I won’t.”

  It was unnerving how much he wanted to share the secret he’d kept for so many years. His hidden life, that meant so much more to him than anything in this world. Except he had to face it.

  That life was over.

  “No.” His voice was raw with everything that could never be. “It was never going to work between Aria and me. Deep down, we always knew it. Sometimes love just isn’t enough.”

  “You’re wrong.” Zad’s eyes blazed with a strange passion, and despite himself, Tom stared, mesmerized. “Love is enough. It’s always worth fighting for.”

  He would fight to the death for Aria. But this was no adversary he could defeat by mental gymnastics or blood drenched battle. The enemy was physics itself. Their love was a thing that should never have existed in the first place.